12 April 2011

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Okay, so this is an angry post!!! If you are a mother, than you know exactly how I'm feeling right now. My sweet, loving 1st grader, yes, 1ST GRADE, is being bullied at school and I HAVE HAD IT!!!! The bullies have been talked to and the teacher has also spoken to their parents as well. We thought it had stopped, but apparently not. My husband went on a field trip today with my son and overheard the bullies call my son the same horrible names they got in trouble over before. I can't believe that they have the nerve to do it in front of parents!! What is wrong with our world where people and children, feel the need and feel that it's okay to say hurtful or do horrible things to others? Obviously the parents are not doing their job!!! Teach your children what's right, teach them that it ruins lives when you bully! Yes, I know they only called him names, but where does it end, when they beat my son up? Because if this isn't taken care of and stopped when they are children, it will continue to escalate! Let's STOP THIS NOW!!!!  I will not allow my son to be a victim!!
Thanks for listening.

20 comments:

  1. I don't blame you for being angry!
    And you are right, names are only the beginning...the parents are not doing their jobs. speak to the pricipal and call the superintendent, I thought there was zero tolerance for this harrasment.
    keep us posted please.

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  2. I'm so sorry that he is going through this. When my kids were young our 'rule' was: if you can walk away and ignore it then do that but if someone touches you make sure you hit him back. We won't be angry at you if you didn't start it and just defended yourself. Words can hurt as much as being hit. When bullies know they can do it they won't stop until they are confronted. It is really sad but I believe it starts at home with their parents. I hope everything works out. Maybe a free self defense class at the Y would help build up his confidence?
    ~Debra xxx
    Capers of the vintage vixens

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  3. I was bullied terribly in school and name calling was just the start in middle school and this escalated into physical at high school,back in the 1970s it was so different you were told to grin and bear it,i stopped going for the last two years of school rather than be a victim i became a truant and missed out on my education,it still affects me now at thirty nine years old.

    You have every right to be angry and every right to protect your boy from the damage these bullies will be doing to him and his confidence,your boy will be in my prayers and i am sending a big hug to you,
    Lots of love to you Kristina xxx

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  4. I am so sorry to hear this Melinda, it hurts us as parents to see our children be so hurt and scared.
    I was bullied by girls horribly in school 6-8th grade. But I did grin and bear it, I didn't give into such childish behavior. Did it hurt, yes, but we grow up and move on. It makes us stronger in life and we aren't always going to be treated with smiles and hugs even as adults.
    You have to do what you think is best as a parent. I never told my mom until this year how horrible my life was for so many years.
    I dealt with it all on my own.
    Just be there for him and let him know he is special and the bigger person for not allowing it to get to him.
    Take care
    amy

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  5. I was so very sorry to read your post children can be so nasty towards each other and it's horrible because it does affect you in adult life. It sounds like you have done everything right. My father used to say to me "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me" i always used to keep this saying with me when i was a little girl it helped me. I always say to my boys that people who bully are cowards and have no identity or strength of their own because bullies never do it alone. I tell them to walk away because its all about control and they will soon stop if they don't get a reaction from them hard i know but it takes a strong person i tell them and you are strong. I hope it sorts its self out for him bless him. Hugs dee x

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  6. Demand a meeting w the school board and talk to other parents.....he may not be the only child suffering
    Shout it from the roof tops "This will stop NOW"!

    We as parents have to protect our children.

    As you can tell I am very protective when it comes to children.

    Good luck,
    Hugs,
    Dolly

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  7. oh melinda..my heart just BREAKS for you! it is so sad when you feel like you have no control over something that deeply affects someone you love so much. my son was bullied in middle school and it was just awful. he got over it and moved on but it was a most difficult time for all of us. be the strong, loving mother that you are. stand up for what you believe in and your children will too. remember..the "cream" rises. I will be thinking of you all and saying prayers as well. hugs....

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  8. Oh my in first grade. You have every right to be angry and take whatever steps it takes to make it stop. I would go to the principal and the school board if the school cannot control the problem. My best friends son "was" in middle school and he got so bullied and harrassed that his family decided to home school him. The bullier did get expelled, but left his friends behind to keep bulling him. He could not cope any more. So I say get it stopped now. My thoughts are with you. ~~Sherry~~

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  9. Oh Melinda, this happened to my son too. You have to be forceful to get anywhere with the school, at least I found that to be true. They didn't take it seriously, and really acted like there was nothing they could do. Your son is too young to let this slide, so I applaud you for caring and doing the right thing. I ended up having to take my son out of public school. I hope it all works out for you. Take care, Martha

    p.s. my friend just posted a really powerful video on FB about this very issue-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37_ncv79fLA

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  10. ...have I got a story for YOU!!
    When my son was in 2nd grade
    I was called into the principle's office to hear that my child was accused of sexual harrasment...
    WHAT?????

    yes, it's true, apparently, Nathan has kissed the hand of a little girl and was being called out about it...
    I was thinking, are you for reals???

    but wait...
    it gets better...

    the principle also told me that I should show my son how to "pee like a man"
    yes, YOU heard that right!!
    as some older kids walked into the bathroom and had slapped him on the backside...
    uuuuuuhhhhh.....
    am I missing something here?????
    I am being called in to correct MY sons behavior????? When clearly, he was treated far more out of line????

    now,
    you must understand,
    I have always tried to not only teach but to LIVE what I say to my peeps and give them the best foundation I possible could/can
    but SERIOUSLY, am I missing something here????
    I knew at that point, that bullying is alive and well, and the ones in charge are usually the ones that turn a blind eye or worse, make you feel like your the one at fault!!
    So, buckle up my dear one, and say your prayers EVERY night, as THAT is the only thing that has gotton my son to his senior year, healthy, happy and bully free!!

    okay, that ~ and ~ you just don't mess with this momma bear and her cubs!!!!!!!

    You want for me to come over there and give em' the stink eye?????
    Even hubby o'mine runs when he sees it!!

    xoxo

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  11. I am so sorry to hear about your little guys treatment at school Melinda. I have to say that when a kid at 1st grade feels confidant enough is getting away with treating another person badly that he will do it in front of a parent, that is a kid who will do whatever he decides will raise the bar.
    I agree with some of the others, demand a meeting with the pricipal, superintendant, and the bullies parents to make this stop. They should all be in the room together with you and your husband to send the message that you WILL NOT allow this to go on. If he will be allowed to get away with name calling at 1st grade what will he do when that becomes boring to him or he 'grows' out of it?
    I was told the sticks and stones mantra also, and I do know that our experiences make us stronger but I think it's one thing the know about the sticks and stones but when you are being humiliated in front of your peers it's pretty tough to convince yourself it doesn't hurt. I think the experience of going to a school where you feel loved and safe is just what you need when you are only 6 or 7.
    This must be stopped, your son deserves better treatment and the other boy deserves to know that what he is doing is wrong and that wrongdoings get punished.
    I would hate to live in his house. sorry I just would.
    I could go on and on about what we are seeing here with our youth. WE have kids from 24years to 8years old and I can tell you first hand that we have seen a huge difference in behaviors and that bad behavior is getting ignored without a word from parents and staff. I personally just don't understand. How can we live in a society where people are taught NOT to be considerate.
    Wow, I'm really not even done here but you get my drift... he must be stopped. Your son deserves better treatment from the school staff as well as the boy and his parents.
    sending much love, t. xoxo

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  12. oh my heart is just breaking for you and your little one dear girl...there is SO much hatred in this world, it is SO not fair that they are exposed to it at such a young age, what ever happened to the innocence of childhood? i'm with you..where the *h*ll* are the parents and what are they teaching their children..
    sending thoughts, prayers, and gentle hugs to your little boy...

    XOXO
    kristin

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  13. I've been through it with my boy Melinda. I know where you are coming from. Yes we mama bears can get enraged and likely so. Just keep on it and if nothing changes go above the principals head to the school board!!!! Then something will be done.
    We are all here for you!
    Pamela xo

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  14. Oh Melinda...I can't say better than what has been said ...we will be praying this is resolved & you will feel Gods Protection & Power in this sad unnecessary sad incident.

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  15. Oh Melinda, I was SO bothered by reading this post. It got my momma blood boiling. I can't stand bullying! It baffles me how people can look the other way sometimes and assume 'boys will be boys' and not raise their sons to be gentleman. You are doing the right thing by calling attention to it with the bullies' parents & school staff. It's always been one of my worries for my little 6-yr old guy, who is so gentle and small. I'm sure your son knows how much you love him to the moon & back, and that those mean schoolmates are wrong to behave that way. I hope it gets better for him. I wish our sons could be buds!!
    Love Susan

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  16. Oh my dear friends, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your comments and for your support!! I can't even begin to tell you how much it has meant to me!
    Much love,
    Melinda

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  17. That just stinks. I would go to the principal and demand, DEMAND, that you have a meeting with the parents of the bully's. I am the mother of 8 some of them probably older than you. It isn't always the parents fault, but I would want to look these people right in the eye and request their help. That is the only way to get to the bottom of it. With this being such a hot topic right now in society, I would Demand! I think the principal will listen.

    Your child will be going to school with these kids for years now is the time to put a stop to it.

    Then teach your child the old "sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me." Teach him this like it's some kind of magic. Tell him to say it and walk away.

    Please keep us posted on what is happening with this. I am mad just thinking about this happening with a a sweet little 6 or 7 year old guy. Hang in there mom.

    Blessings,
    Shelley

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  18. Melinda,
    I'm so glad you shared your post with us! This is just HORRIBLE and I hope something is going to be done about it. We've heard the stories of kids that are bullied and how it scars them. You are right, it has to STOP!

    I hope you see some results very soon. I will be praying for your family and especially for your son. I can only imagine not only how painful this is for your son, but ALSO for you as a mother (and husband). My heart literally breaks . Please keep us posted.

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  19. Hi Melinda...I know exactly how you feel! My son was picked on since kindergarten! It seemed like it would never end. He never wanted me to say anything for fear of it getting worse. I respected his wishes. He has handled it himself and has grown to be a respectful, kind, and sensitive young man who is an honor student, an athlete and a hard worker. There are still times when he says he gets picked on and he is almost 17! He feel so bad for those people and just walks away. Nobody laughs anymore...they all feel sorry for the bully. Good luck and hugs to you!

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  20. Hi Melinda,
    That is just the worst! I can't believe it starts in 1st grade!! Kids can just be so mean. I would be outraged as well. It's so hard to know your little kiddo is being attacked like that. Hope you get it all resolved. Different classroom perhaps? Or maybe it's time to enroll your boy in a martial arts class. I've heard that does wonders in this type of situation. (Not advocating violence of course ~ just the fact that it gives kids major confidence and if they ever do need to protect themselves, they can)

    Good luck dear ~ big hugs!
    xo,
    Shellagh

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